How to Win A Female Blogger's Heart (when she has a boyfriend)
EMAIL
Dear P_____ (fellow blogger),
This is how you win her heart. Seduce*.
SSL.
(29 March 2008)
THE BLOGGERS SEDUCTION MANUAL
This is not any different from seducing any other women, except that you have several key advantages here. The idea behind this entry is to highlight these key advantages and help you make full use of it. This is a generalised set of instructions, and it should be tailored to your individual bloggers situation. This entry assumed that the seducee and seducer already know each other either via MSN, Yahoo, Innit, Pajama Party, wherever...
Ok. Step one.
Proximity
Of course, the ideal situation is that you happen to live in the same town, better still, same neighbourhood. This would make things a hell lot easier as far as wooing goes. Never mind if this isn't the case. She already has a boyfriend, don't be put off, contrary to popular belief, this does not actually make seducing any harder. First step is to get to know the boyfriend also - make him your ally. In fact make him your makan kaki ("eating" mate)- eating is obviously big in Malaysia and Singapore. Use every meal time possible, invite them to join you for a meal. You will soon find out that the couple cannot be together every meal time - due to work time constraint, church commitment, etc.
Time your subsequent meal invitation when the boyfriend is away. Expect a NO from her to begin with. But you'll find that she will soon relent to your repeat friendly requests - she needs to eat afterall; and a friendly "eating" companion, especially one that is on good terms with the boyfriend isn't going to be that harmful.
Remember NEVER EVER RUSH. This is a long term plan. Use tact, common sense and sensitivity - moving too quickly will ruin all your earlier effort. Unless this girl is a freak with dire need of psychological help, haste never appeal to any woman. Play to her self-esteem always. Importantly, play the waiting game.
Stepping it Up
You can now move to next phase of subtle courtship. Remember she is a blogger. That automatically makes her easily excitable whenever she gets a blog/aggregator mention. Use this opportunity to post a blog entry about your shared meal experience. Use emotive words to describe the meal, when in fact, you are actually conveying your feelings to her - include phrases like scents of happiness, longing aroma, burst of chilly excitement (ok, the last one sounded stupid, like you skipped English classes) - but you get my meaning. Oh, you need to ping her so she reads that entry.
Ok, now you are ready to inject some manhood into the relationship. Try to communicate with her via the internet (Yahoo, MSN etc) to get her opinion on your latest entry. Gently slip the topic of your interest in the opposite sex in the conversation, and you must quickly point out to her that you pretty much have the same taste as her boyfriend. It is here that you want to take stock of her opinion on the matter. If she has a brain, she will at least suspect and give you a sign either way. Anything short of a definite NO signal, and you stand a pretty good chance. You can now relax and smile.
The First Move
Making the first move requires a little bit more common sense. The advice here, as in life generally, is only bet on a sure thing! Never make an overt approach until you are (1) certain that she wants you, (2) able to pass it off as something else, OR (3) have no intention of having anything to do with her and her blog friends ever again. If you have been paying attention all along, this should be relatively simple and stress free. The fact that you have waited this long will make this soap opera even more appealing. Never underestimate the appeal of the forbidden fruit to a woman.
But these are the things to avoid:
Don't call ever call her "sister" or call her boyfriend "brother", it is pretty hard to kick start a physical relationship if you regard everyone as part of your family.
Don't get jealous of the boyfriend. Tell yourself it's ok, he saw her first. And never get tangle in emotional distractions and paranoia; time is on your side, unless you are inflicted with terminal illness.
Don't avoid the boyfriend. He is key to winning the girl's heart. If he is away, play the handyman/friendly companion role. If they quarrelled, be her listener. If he mistreated her, be her saviour. Just wait and find the right time.
Ok. Step one.
Proximity
Of course, the ideal situation is that you happen to live in the same town, better still, same neighbourhood. This would make things a hell lot easier as far as wooing goes. Never mind if this isn't the case. She already has a boyfriend, don't be put off, contrary to popular belief, this does not actually make seducing any harder. First step is to get to know the boyfriend also - make him your ally. In fact make him your makan kaki ("eating" mate)- eating is obviously big in Malaysia and Singapore. Use every meal time possible, invite them to join you for a meal. You will soon find out that the couple cannot be together every meal time - due to work time constraint, church commitment, etc.
Time your subsequent meal invitation when the boyfriend is away. Expect a NO from her to begin with. But you'll find that she will soon relent to your repeat friendly requests - she needs to eat afterall; and a friendly "eating" companion, especially one that is on good terms with the boyfriend isn't going to be that harmful.
Remember NEVER EVER RUSH. This is a long term plan. Use tact, common sense and sensitivity - moving too quickly will ruin all your earlier effort. Unless this girl is a freak with dire need of psychological help, haste never appeal to any woman. Play to her self-esteem always. Importantly, play the waiting game.
Stepping it Up
You can now move to next phase of subtle courtship. Remember she is a blogger. That automatically makes her easily excitable whenever she gets a blog/aggregator mention. Use this opportunity to post a blog entry about your shared meal experience. Use emotive words to describe the meal, when in fact, you are actually conveying your feelings to her - include phrases like scents of happiness, longing aroma, burst of chilly excitement (ok, the last one sounded stupid, like you skipped English classes) - but you get my meaning. Oh, you need to ping her so she reads that entry.
Ok, now you are ready to inject some manhood into the relationship. Try to communicate with her via the internet (Yahoo, MSN etc) to get her opinion on your latest entry. Gently slip the topic of your interest in the opposite sex in the conversation, and you must quickly point out to her that you pretty much have the same taste as her boyfriend. It is here that you want to take stock of her opinion on the matter. If she has a brain, she will at least suspect and give you a sign either way. Anything short of a definite NO signal, and you stand a pretty good chance. You can now relax and smile.
The First Move
Making the first move requires a little bit more common sense. The advice here, as in life generally, is only bet on a sure thing! Never make an overt approach until you are (1) certain that she wants you, (2) able to pass it off as something else, OR (3) have no intention of having anything to do with her and her blog friends ever again. If you have been paying attention all along, this should be relatively simple and stress free. The fact that you have waited this long will make this soap opera even more appealing. Never underestimate the appeal of the forbidden fruit to a woman.
But these are the things to avoid:
Don't call ever call her "sister" or call her boyfriend "brother", it is pretty hard to kick start a physical relationship if you regard everyone as part of your family.
Don't get jealous of the boyfriend. Tell yourself it's ok, he saw her first. And never get tangle in emotional distractions and paranoia; time is on your side, unless you are inflicted with terminal illness.
Don't avoid the boyfriend. He is key to winning the girl's heart. If he is away, play the handyman/friendly companion role. If they quarrelled, be her listener. If he mistreated her, be her saviour. Just wait and find the right time.
Good luck and God bless!
*as inspired by d.i.r.t.w.r.i.t.e.r.
4 comments:
Oh dude..u lose my respect..
How can u teach ppl do that???
Isk isk isk...
Sisuahlai the chaosbringer..
Anyway, if that girl can be swayed that easily, good riddance to bad cabbage. She can swayed as eaily as well.
wah.... zzzz
what?
like this can work better spend more time suffocating the girl la.
Next entry: How to win over a female's blogger boyfriend.
Nah, don't wanna inflame sensitive hearts further. :P
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